May 21, 2013
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Not Going To Be Self-Destructive
So I had a pretty jacked up day last Friday. When I have these kinds of days I need time to clear my head and anything to distract me from acting out in a destructive way.
Yes, I do have a tendency to become very self-destructive when I am down and this is why I give myself time to clear my head before going at the problem. I play out scenarios in my head and 100% of the time I even think of something when I am down, sad or angry it goes really bad, really quick. I do not want to be that person.
Saturday my niece Crisanta showed up at my place as I was getting ready to head out to run some errands and decided for me that rather than me spend $400 on DVDs or stuff I do not need because I was out of sorts, I would buy a bike and go bike riding with her.
It’s been many years since I rode a bike, and longer since I bought myself one. Yep, I got the spaghetti legs after 10 minutes, but it got me out of the house and it was the distraction I needed.Today I told myself to get the hell out of my bed and get on the bike. Now years of physical therapy and some gyms has taught me to never start doing physical stuff all gunho and then hurt myself. Today was a ten minute bike ride around the neighborhood and then a 15 minute walk on the treadmill. It’s not marathon training, but it is a start to a better me. A me with a clearer mind, a less heavy heart and maybe if I work really hard at this a less heavy body.
